When we bring our lovely child back from China, there are a few things to keep in mind, both for us but also for our friends and family.

He will have been in an orphanage for several months. He has in principle only just met us. He has not been waiting for us for 3 years and he has not been forewarned much of the big changes in his life that we will bring.

He has been abandoned at least once. He has not had much attention and loving care and is happy for any attention he can get.

However, it is crucial for his happiness and well-being that he bond with us, his new parents, as soon as possible.

He has to learn that there is now somebody there that will look out for him and always be there for him. He has to learn that he can trust us. He has to learn that there is somebody out there that will bend the rainbow for him.

This will all be new to him.

For this reason it is important that we get some peace and quiet in the first few months to let this process evolve.

This means that we will severely limit the amount of social activities we will attend. So don't be offended if we turn down an invitation or two. We are really not mad at you or anything!!

It also means that while we are happy to have visitors, perhaps smaller groups are better than a large crowd.

And finally it means that although he can sit on your lap, if he gets sad or cries, we, his parents, must always comfort him. If he is hungry, we, his parents, must always feed him. If he has a full diaper, we, his parents, must change him.

Don't worry - once we feel he has bonded you can get to change as many diapers as you want!!